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" Okay, okay, so I messed up a little. Pink. Puce. Who cares? But what do you mean 'lend a hand'?" That's a figure of speech." A figure of speech? Then shouldn't it be 'lend a tongue'?" Oh, you naughty Santa," Mrs. Claus chided her husband.Santa tried to hide his gleeful smirk. "I was just thinking maybe what Sandra needs is one of those spicy story books. Maybe Laura's Toes—it's so popular this year. Pretty hot stuff, don't you agree?" True, true," Mrs. Claus said. "Laura's Toes is certainly my favorite, but I was thinking more along the lines of a vibrating dildo. One of those new three-speed babies. Fast. Slow. Ho-ho-ho!"Santa nodded sagely. "Good idea. And batteries to go with, right?" Of course," Mrs. Claus confirmed. "What good's a vibrating dildo without batteries? So that settles that—one of the new Unicorn Hummers." But wait," Santa said, examining the stock. "What color? Seems they come in silver and gold." Oh, that's right," said Mrs. Claus. "Hm." Her keen eyes carefully. Right im going to see brit" harvey said "i'll walk down with you babe because im going to see dean" so we both got into are cars and drove offwhen i got to brits house i told her all about rome and customs and me and harvey drinking beer after beer with her it was time for me to go i manged to pull my cell out of my pocket and rang Harvey when he answered i said "harvey im not drunk i dont care what you say but can you come and pick me up please" when harvey arrived he knocked on the door and i manged to open it harvey looked at me and said "your really drunk" harvey picked me up with arms (like a wedding hold) i looked at him and said "i have such a strong hustband" then rested my head on his chest and closed my eyes i must have passed out because i dont remember harvey driving me home or getting into bed i woke up later that night about 7ish harvey was working on somethink on my laptop i walked over to him and said "babe what are you doing?" "im working out the household exspenses.
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